A Funeral For A Baby: The Production

Has anyone else noticed how this year has been death crazy? People are dropping like flies. 2009 seems to be the Grim Reaper of the Decade. Ok, not really but, man, a lot of people have croaked. Especially celebrities. If  I were famous at all I’d be looking for way to be un-famous and not leave any sort of mark on the world, stat. That way I could buy myself some time. I’m just sayin’…

Ok. All insensitivity aside. I’ve been personally touched by death this year too. And me being me, if I can’t joke about it somehow, then it becomes too hard to bear. If you wanna read the sad part of all of this and see that I’m not a cold-hearted jerk, you can read my other blog at http://myquietthought.wordpress.com.

Anyway, back to death and all that.

My sister is having a baby in 2 weeks. It’s a pretty sad occasion as the baby has a major heart defect and will pass away pretty quickly. This means we are planning a funeral while getting ready to celebrate a birth. Yeah, I know. It’s very sad but God definitely doesn’t give us more than we can bear and will give us moments to make it all endurable. He’ll even give us times where we can just laugh at things that are going on.

Like with the funeral for my soon-to-be nephew…

My brother-in-law is a fairly dramatic person. He always talks about how he doesn’t like big productions and how much he hates stress but, in all honesty, I think he enjoys it a teeny bit more than he lets on. I love Neil dearly. He makes me laugh because of stuff like this.

Example: The issue of Pal Bearers. Pal Bearers are the ones who carry the casket from the hearse to the grave site or from the place of the funeral services to the hearse or something like that, right? Usually you need a few of them to carry a casket because a casket bearing a person would be heavy. Awesome. We’re all on the same page here. But are Pal Bearers necessary if you have an 18 in. casket carrying a 7 lbs. baby? I think one person could probably handle the job.

Neil on the other hand doesn’t want to offend anyone so he’s going to invite EVERYONE and their llama to be a part of this. He wants 11 (yes that’s right ELEVEN) Pal Bearers for his son. All I could think is “Is that even possible? Every one of those fully grown men could be no more than 1 1/2 inches wide to be able to do that. After all, the casket is only 18 inches long. Are they all going to just stick a finger on it and shuffle their way to where the casket needs to go? Or are they all just going to daisy chain it and look like a chorus line about to do a sullen Can-Can as a farewell?” As much fun as that would be to watch, its probably not the most appropriate thing to have at a funeral for an infant. Maybe at my funeral though…

Apparently the Pal Bearers are “Honorary” and my brother-in-law is going to be the only one who is going to be carrying the casket. So now my question is “Why have Pal Bearers at all?”

My sister was thinking the same thing as me on this one. It just doesn’t make any sense. They’ve been arguing about it for a few days now. So tonight they came to a compromise. They agreed on 6 Honorary Pal Bearers. That’s pretty much the complete center on what both of them were thinking. It made me laugh quite a bit. I will say that 6 is much better than 11. I’m still trying to figure out what they’re all going to be doing as “Honorary Pal Bearers.” I’m thinking they’re going to be standing around looking pretty in their boutonnières. (I don’t think I spelled that right at all. Whoops.) Maybe the Can-Can isn’t such a bad idea after all.

And that’s not all! The funeral service is going to be a mini symphonic adventure. I’m really not joking. There are going to be 2 speakers and 2 musical numbers. One musical number is going to have a harpist, a flautist, an oboist and 6 singers. The other musical number is going to have a full string section, a flautist or two and 8 singers. And then Neil and I are singing at the grave side. We’ll all be available for hire for any corporate or private gigs after Oct. 17th.

Yeah. This is a bit over the top but, just remember, we love Neil. 😀 And ironically enough, his ideas of grandeur have made for some pretty great laughs in the hardest part of this whole tragedy so far.


About Mishimmy

Just a person who says stuff from time to time.
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5 Responses to A Funeral For A Baby: The Production

  1. Neil says:

    Thank you for the laughs at my expense! I realize i’m a bit eccentric, but that’s who I am! Take it or leave it!

  2. melissa says:

    I too think it is funny. I am glad we can find some humor in this whole event. Michelle you crack me up!

  3. Arae Wyatt says:

    I just want everyone to know- me being the said sister- I encouraged Michelle to write this. Yes- I too can laugh at the thought!

  4. Aoirselvar says:

    I’m glad that you are able to find some joy in this time. If we can’t smile about something then maybe life isn’t worth waking up for.

  5. Lindy says:

    Oh my gosh! I can totally picture 12 men standing round trying to hold this tiny casket while trying not to trip over each other. I guess if would be like a blessing but trying to hold the baby and walk at the same time.

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